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This page gives brief descriptions of the chapters of Journeys: Stories of Pregnancy After Loss. For more information from a particular parent, click on their name to email them. If there is no link to them, please feel free to email me (Amy).

Introduction	Foreword by Dr. Michael Berman
Where Am I In The Journey? - by Anna Orologio, LMSW	Endorsements
Michele
My Two Unnamed Angels "I kept thinking, What are the odds? A miscarriage with my first pregnancy and now with my second some rare type of pregnancy that isn’t even a pregnancy? The odds, even on the web sites, were stated as so small of getting this type of complication. To put the two losses together with one person was astounding."	The Magic of the Llamas - Delaney Bridget "Other people I knew became pregnant and hadn’t had previous losses and were, in my eyes, more reckless. My doctors had told me no alcohol or cold cuts in addition to no raw meats. My newly blissful pregnant friends were munching happily along on salami sandwiches and having the occasional glass of wine."
Nancy
Our Son, Matthew "We left the hospital with a box, not a baby. It was our memory box with Matthew’s Birth and Death Certificate, footprints, snapshot and his christening gown. We left with all the information from the nurse and social worker."	Erica’s Story: Miracles Do Happen "I was in denial for the whole pregnancy, going back and forth to doctors. I felt more as if we were treating an ailment. I wished I could have been one of those pregnant women who are happy, naive, and in the pregnancy bliss, instead of being a worrywart."
Amy
Solomon’s Flowers "…our baby, alive and kicking and pounding away, as I’d seen so many times previously. He or she was such an active little thing. Hurray! I thought. But right there on the resident’s face was ‘the look.’ He must have known right then. I wouldn’t have this baby."	Hark, Alison Is Born "Even as I was listening to the baby’s heartbeat on the fetal monitor I was not convinced I was having this baby. And even while I was having contractions and practicing my breathing I was not convinced I was having this baby."
Eric
The Decision "Where did my wife go? I understood, after the loss that she would grieve eighteen months, and that would have been okay but after we got pregnant again it was the worrying that went on. The daily “what if?”	A Tale of Two Pregnancies "For the prior nine months I lived in paranoia hell from Amy scared she (Alison) wouldn’t show up. No matter what good news we would get from the doctor, sonograms, test results or just praise from people. Amy’s constant ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ attitude."
Rosanna
A Light for Lucas "My son was placed in my arms all wrapped up with a hat on; it was time for us to say good-bye. The nurse said we could take as long as we needed. As I looked down at my son, I saw a beautiful baby boy. Even though he was twenty three weeks he looked perfect to us. The hardest thing we ever had to do was say good-bye."	One Magical Night "… when I got home from my fifteen week appointment, I called Anna, the social worker from the bereavement group and asked her when was her next meeting for SPALS was taking place. I was reluctant to go because it was on the first anniversary of Lucas’s death. It turned out this group was what I needed to keep some of my sanity through the next few months. "
Lynn M.
Losing Kailyn Nicole "Thursday morning was my routine thirty eight week check-up. On the drive to the office, I turned to my husband and said, “If there is no heartbeat you will have to commit me.” I was beyond scared; it was as if I already knew -- women’s intuition. As I lay on the table, the doctor put the Doppler up to my belly. I didn’t hear a heartbeat."	Aidan’s Arrival "Aidan was in the NICU until Saturday morning. We were released together on Monday and left the hospital as a family. What a moment, I was finally leaving with a living, breathing, healthy baby. It was a beautiful thing. "
Linda
Our Beloved Daughter Sarah Ann "I’m glad she and the nurses continued to talk to us through the labor because we changed our minds and agreed we wanted to see and hold the baby. That proved to be one of the most important decisions we made. As hard as it was, I couldn’t imagine how I would have felt if I hadn’t seen her. I would have regretted it forever."	Little Brother, Jack Peter "This is what normal expectant mothers do, not ones who experience a stillbirth. Mothers who experience a stillbirth go through a subsequent pregnancy with the thought this baby will also die. My fear for thirty seven weeks."
Patty
Losing Hope "Now we had to name our angel. Stephen left it up to me; whatever I wanted was fine. The next morning I gave her the name Hope. Hope, what we always had: we hoped we would get pregnant; we hoped the babies would be healthy, so the name seemed to fit."	Having Emma "Close to the end of my pregnancy my anxiety rose. I found myself shaking my belly or drinking orange juice to make the baby move. I always made sure I wore something red to ward off the evil eye. I would try anything. The closer I got to the end the less I talked about the baby. I was afraid to get attached, I was afraid I would lose this baby, too."
Cindy
The Tragic Timeline "My husband and I cried for what seemed like forever with her in our arms. We couldn’t believe we were experiencing this. Why were we the ones chosen to take this path? Why did God take the little girl I always dreamed of away from me? Why? Why? Why? She would have completed our almost perfect life. From this moment on, it would never feel perfect again."	An Angel In Disguise "All our connections were formed at the SPALS groups…Not only did we form incredible friendships with the other couples, it was what kept us on the level. It was also a time where it was good to talk, grieve, and cry for your lost child. These people knew it was all right to be happy and sad at the same time because they were feeling the exact same thing."
Lynn V.
My Angel Sara, Who Changed Our Life Forever "When I was released from the hospital the very hardest moment came. I was told I had to be brought to my car by wheelchair instead of walking out. It was hospital policy. So out I went, wheeled through the maternity ward with Sara’s green box on my lap, alone. Rich had gone to get the car. It was so hard leaving the hospital without our baby. We had to go home and plan her funeral instead."	Caitlyn and Anthony, Our Precious Gifts, Sent From Heaven, After Our Angel Sara "I went to a high-risk doctor, and he too, was well informed on HELLP Syndrome. He was very positive, yet cautious. I also saw a cardiologist and a blood specialist. It was a long nine months waiting for Caitlyn’s arrival. People asked us how we were doing. Family would ask me if I felt movement, which would cause me to panic all the time."
Donna
Stephanie, Our Little Angel "We all gave our last kisses goodbye and we left. I took home the blanket they had wrapped her in and I held it the whole ride home. I walked into the hospital holding my child and left early another morning without her in my arms."	Emily, Our Second Chance "I began to read again and looked for books on subsequent pregnancies after the loss of child. I was so afraid I wasn’t going to bond or love this baby the way I loved Stephanie. I didn’t think a healthy baby would need me the way Stephanie did. The books helped me to see all these feelings were perfectly normal. I just couldn’t bring myself to be excited about being pregnant as I was the first time."
Anna
Peaceful Transitions "It has been my experience that when a couple experiences a loss of a baby the journey of grief can be a difficult one. Since men and women grieve very differently it’s so important to keep the lines of communication open. This is not the time for one partner to protect the other, however, it’s a time for each of them to sit in the midst of their pain and reach out to one another."