Searching for Solomon
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             On my way to attend the national SIDS/Stillbirth conference in September 2005, it dawned on me, this would be my first trip to Washington DC since “that” time.  My husband and I fled our home in July 2000 to “vacation” in DC during the time Solomon was due.  Born still March 8 of that year, we had endured a myriad of obstacles to even approach our path of healing.  The thought of being in my “normal” routine on July 28th was too much to bear.  
          I think of this now as my Amtrak train approaches Union Station.  On the morning of July 28, 2000, I fantasized about a mystery knocker at our hotel room door, delivering a baby as if we had ordered one from room service.  I recall the guttural sobs emerging from my body, the shaking and the tears, Eric’s strong arms and body around me, keeping me from self-combusting.  And even now, 5+ years later, I was engaged in that same fantasy thinking; hoping somehow that Solomon would be delivered to me in DC.
           The conference itself was wonderful.  Having been a health educator in my former life, I was proud to have been on the planning committee for the bereavement workshops, to moderate a workshop led my Dr. Michael Berman, founder of the Hygeia website, and to host a table and share with folks the comfort of making a quilt square and participating in A Walk to Remember (both coordinated by Winthrop University Hospital). I met Sherokee Ilse and Lorraine Ash, notable authors on pregnancy and infant loss.  My real comfort came from being among my peers, mothers who had also hoped, loved and lost.  I was able to share Solomon’s story with both professionals and parents from around the world.  Something I found to be quite healing.  I accepted the finality of his life years ago, but somehow knowing his story will be remembered around the globe, has left me with a semblance of peace.


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